Boogers, Boogers...Everywhere.

Two in one day. It's a record. This one though is dedicated strictly to boogers. Before I had kids, I would look at other people's snot nosed kids and think "OH MY GOODNESS, get a stinking Kleenex, for the LOVE OF GOD." But now, it's not really a big deal...until today. My good friend Kim and I have worked together for almost two years. In those two years we've learned a lot about each other. (I'm sure she's learned things about me that she'd rather not have known but hey, whatever.) But one thing I've learned about Kim is that she despises boogers. Snot. Walters. Whatever it is you call them, she hates them. When she has to wipe a nose, she shutters, closes her eyes and hopes to sweet baby Jesus that it all gets on that Kleenex. I swear she wishes she'd have brought a hazmat suit to work and God forbid that a wondering tongue should come out of a mouth and sneak a lick or a finger pulls away a gob of goo that is still connected to the child's face. I swear I've seen her turn green and I know she's almost thrown up...a few times. It is definitely gross to see a child gain pleasure from eating this florescent green yuck that comes out of that nose. Bubbles, streaks, strands, in the hair, down the shirt, on our clothes...we've seen it all.

The point is, my sweet Amelia is getting four teeth at the same time in her mouth. Getting teeth does some weird things to the body that is neither here nor there but alas, it happens. Poop, snot, drool and usually all at the same time. My poor girl had snot running out her nose all day and it wasn't a cute runny nose that just wiped away. No sir, it was green snot that she would wipe all across her face and rub on my shirt. I have dried snot globs on my shirt and my pants and probably my hair but I'm afraid to look. Kleenex just weren't cutting it. Seriously. She would cry and the breathes out the snot would be bubbles and she'd breath in and it would suck back into the depths of her head. But, that's not the best part. The best part is trying to use that booger sucker. Who invented that thing? They were possessed by the devil and shown the light by Jesus all in the same day. It works wonders when your child lets you use it. Seriously. I'd have to hog tie my child for her to let me use that thing. And cry, holy mother of God. I swear our neighbors think I torture my children. I now despise boogers. Not for the fact that they make me squeamish or nauseous but the simple fact that they are hard to get rid of, cause lack of sleep and quite frankly, piss me off. The end.